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L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by L-F »

Well better she does a 180 than end up being a bunny boiler. Or worse, a bunny boiler stalker who got rejected. Yikes!
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by Zsababy »

On narcissism, I don't think you need to be attracted to an incredibly beautiful person who wants to sleep with you. That's just Mother Nature. No matter how well-adjusted you are, a hot person offering themselves is a tempting proposition. That's why it might be good to just step back. A weak moment could lead to an affair & I assume you want to stay married & monogamous. I don't know if you have some sort agreement with your wife on an open relationship, but I assume not.

This just sounds like a dangerous situation as far as that's concerned
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by Zsababy »

I meant you don't need to be a narcissist
Kaizercrazy
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2022 11:19 pm
United States of America

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Post by Kaizercrazy »

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Last edited by Kaizercrazy on Mon Nov 28, 2022 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by Zsababy »

Don't feel ashamed! You were being a grown up & being honest & from what you're telling us, she has a hard time doing that. I mean, what's with her going back & forth if not some internal conflict there (I'm armchair psychoanalyzing).
Now you know all about her that you needed to know- that she toys with people & doesn't care.

I think the was really the best outcome: you found out her true colors now rather than later and you dodged a bullet without endangering your marriage. (BTW, I don't judge because I've cheated in a LTR & man, is it hard to give up great sex!) But it just sounded like you were risking a good thing for an unknown and that the whole situation was kind of a powder keg for both of you, even if she won't admit it.

Thanks for the update! I always want to know how these posts turn out.
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by L-F »

Zsababy wrote: Fri Nov 18, 2022 12:18 am On narcissism, I don't think you need to be a narcissist to be attracted to an incredibly beautiful person who wants to sleep with you.
I've added a bit in going by your post below the quote above... Hope I've captured it correctly.

You are correct. You don't have to be a narcissist to find others attractive, but cheaters do have narcissistic tendencies. Putting oneself above all others - is a true narcissistic trait ;)

But hey, we're all on the spectrum. Hence the importance of seeing how LOs mirror us and vice versa. It's easy to see it in others. A true narcissists would NEVER see it in themselves. I'm not talking about the LS being a full blown NPD. I'm talking pop-culture narcissism which tends to be oh-so-popular :ymsick:

In the end, we're all a little damaged. We all need love, admiration, support, and an empathetic ear. And most importantly, we need to be the person showing that kindness to ourselves.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
L-F
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by L-F »

Kaizercrazy wrote: Sat Nov 19, 2022 2:20 am Now, there is the case of me wanting romance with someone other than my wife. That's something I'm going to have to figure out and contend with.
This.

All the best! And glad that limerent bubble burst for ya.
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by Zsababy »

L-F wrote: Sat Nov 19, 2022 7:57 am
Hence the importance of seeing how LOs mirror us and vice versa.
This is a complete tangent to the original post, but this is very interesting; food for thought. I was just replying to someone else about our need for our LO to validate our desirability & I noted how many of my LOs have been not conventionally attractive & how that relates to my complex about my looks. I guess in general it is useful to really look at why we fixate on one person. In this post, I just figured his repeatedly focussing on her hotness & sexiness was the main issue so I didn't really think of the mirroring thing. I've only heard people say that sometimes your LO is what you envy or wish to be, & mine is a successful multi-creative & that's my goal.

Just pondering why we pick who we pick vs. just hotness.
Kaizercrazy
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2022 11:19 pm
United States of America

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Post by Kaizercrazy »

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Last edited by Kaizercrazy on Mon Nov 28, 2022 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Kaizercrazy
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2022 11:19 pm
United States of America

Re: My LO kissed me!

Post by Kaizercrazy »

L-F wrote: Thu Nov 17, 2022 11:50 pm Well better she does a 180 than end up being a bunny boiler. Or worse, a bunny boiler stalker who got rejected. Yikes!
Well..... This remains to be seen. I've gone super cold on her so we'll see what happens lol. I'll do my best to be cordial but.... I have a feeling she won't respond well.
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