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Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?

A place for those new to this site. The more experienced users of this site tend to frequent the members only section more.
Keater
Posts: 58
Joined: Sun Nov 22, 2015 3:02 pm
United States of America

Re: Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?

Post by Keater »

For sure. One guy I barely knew tattooed my name on his arm, and spelled it incorrectly. Mega creepy. Another guy I was friends with, before he proposed to his now wife, and it had been quite a while since we had even hung out and we weren’t as close, he came around to like see if we had a chance? He never even told me he felt that way ever, so it kind of blindsided me (at the time). I was young and dumb and should have seen it coming in hindsight.
And some others. I don’t know if necessarily limerent. Hard to say. I was never really limerent until I was older and got married.
I never knew what to look for before but I wonder it now sometimes!
Although other times I feel so unattractive and old that it makes me wonder if I could ever even be somebody’s LO.
Have you no idea that you're in deep?
I dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?

Post by Zsababy »

Wow, the tattooing is disturbing. At least we can say we haven't gone that far! Yikes.

The engaged guy sounds kind of sad, like his fiance was Plan B. At least he found out before marrying her.

In retrospect, I think I consciously turned a blind eye to guys' attraction because I wanted to be friends, which is unconsciously hurtful. But it's also painful to lose a friend and I'm not great at making friends & preferred male friends as my female friends would use me like a therapist the way my mom did as a child. So I found guys didn't like to talk about their issues so much.

Now that I've learned about limerance I can see that some guys have turned a blind eye to me.
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5642
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?

Post by JupiterTaco »

Zsababy wrote: Tue Jan 17, 2023 7:58 am Wow, the tattooing is disturbing. At least we can say we haven't gone that far! Yikes.

The engaged guy sounds kind of sad, like his fiance was Plan B. At least he found out before marrying her.

In retrospect, I think I consciously turned a blind eye to guys' attraction because I wanted to be friends, which is unconsciously hurtful. But it's also painful to lose a friend and I'm not great at making friends & preferred male friends as my female friends would use me like a therapist the way my mom did as a child. So I found guys didn't like to talk about their issues so much.

Now that I've learned about limerance I can see that some guys have turned a blind eye to me.
I can relate to that...
"Are you hitting on me?" Paige, The L Word
"Um...no...I wasn't...but...I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," Shane
"I'm sorry. I was hoping that you were," Paige
peter.rabbit
Posts: 450
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:27 am
United States of America

Re: Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?

Post by peter.rabbit »

Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?
I've wondered about this, gonna say "no". If someone in fact was Limerent over me, they did a great job of concealing it. ;)
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein
Yesnomaybeso
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:11 pm
Gender:
Age: 33
Australia

Re: Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?

Post by Yesnomaybeso »

I have been someone else's LO and it was not fun. I didn't realise until after that that was happening. It felt like I was stuck in an emotional tornado and it took me a while to be able to get myself out of it. They eventually moved on to someone else and things got better. We're friends now and honestly I see they have this pattern. They get limerence way worse than I ever have. But yh I'd say being an LO isn't fun unless you're narcissistic (possibly).
townshend
Posts: 1151
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:19 am
Gender:
Age: 28
United States of America

Re: Ever wonder if you're somebody else's LO?

Post by townshend »

I have been the LO with a big emphasis on the O considering the bare amount of interaction with the person compared to their over ruminating, over sharing with others about his thoughts centered around, over emphasizing and blowing things out of proportion for years. Not a good time. Especially as I’ve been aware and have tried to move on and tell him to do the same.

My advice: don’t burden LO with your personal projection problem. Solve it yourself.
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman
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