Limerence is a thief of joy

[Yesnomaybeso]

Idk how many rounds of limerence I've gone through in my life but at this point I'd say around 6 with varying degrees. My most recent was brought on simply by going on a date with someone. But it's not the worst one I've ever had and I know this will pass relatively quickly. I've learnt a lot throughout the last few years. Yet I'm still not actively trying to prevent this from happening. I've been watching a lot of crappy childhood fairy videos. I remember she said something about casual dating being a luxury for the un
traumatised and I'm starting to understand why. Everytime I go on a date it's always a risks that I might obsess and lose any joy I may have had prior. I don't think I can do this to myself anymore. I just worry that if I stop trying to date then I'll definitely never find love. Yet this isn't working for me either. It's a horrible feeling not enjoying being alive and I've experienced that from limerence so many times. I think it's truly time for me to focus on healing and stopping trying to prevent horrible feelings coming through by moving on to the next person.

[Zsababy]

I've been watching a lot of crappy childhood fairy videos. I remember she said something about casual dating being a luxury for the un
traumatised and I'm starting to understand why. Everytime I go on a date it's always a risks that I might obsess and lose any joy I may have had prior. I don't think I can do this to myself anymore. I just worry that if I stop trying to date then I'll definitely never find love. Yet this isn't working for me either. It's a horrible feeling not enjoying being alive and I've experienced that from limerence so many times. I think it's truly time for me to focus on healing and stopping trying to prevent horrible feelings coming through by moving on to the next person.

That's something I should've done a long time ago., If I only knew more then. This is a good plan. I usually just wait for them to fade and then out of the blue another one crops up. I'm pushing 60

[JupiterTaco]

I think people like us need to look for love differently. We need to find somebody who is safe first and foremost. Most people on dating sites are not that way, they lean narcissistic. I just wanted to add, I think the way a lot of these sites are set up encourage people to act narcissistic also.

[L-F]

We need to find somebody who is safe first and foremost.

I think we tend to attract the same level of safety and awareness. Best to work on self first and look for those who are in therapy or had therapy or are at least aware of the baggage they bring to a new relationship.

[JupiterTaco]

We need to find somebody who is safe first and foremost.

I think we tend to attract the same level of safety and awareness. Best to work on self first and look for those who are in therapy or had therapy or are at least aware of the baggage they bring to a new relationship.

Yep can't demand a safe partner if you're not a safe partner