Advice?

[dramamine4tw]

Hi! I'm new to this forum and did not have enough reddit karma to post to r/limerence so I ended up here from Tiktok

I'm a college student, and my LO is a previous classmate I had last semester. To be honest, I want to get over him and be content in my life again. It's driving me crazy, so crazy to the point where I wish I never met him.

So basically we were in class with each other last semester and that is when I was able to interact and talk with him a lot, but now we are not in class anymore so I don't see him at all. My limerence got worse because I can't see him. Also, I confessed that I have a "crush" on him through instagram dm at the beginning of this semester in hopes that maybe it would bring some sort of closure and help me move on from him? At the time I thought I had only a crush on him, but after doing a lot of research on limerence, I realized that is not the case. Anyway, he replied saying he was flattered, that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship, that he always thought I was "super cute" and that he hopes to see me around campus soon. This made my limerence even worse and I spiraled into a state of insanity for weeks over his reply.

Nonetheless I was still glad I wasn't seeing him because I realized it felt kind of like no contact which made me start to think about him less (we're still following each other on instagram). A couple weeks ago, though, I found out that we have class at the same time on Thursdays at 6 pm because we park in the same parking lot and I saw him walking to class from his car. With this knowledge, I started obsessing over how I could run into him in the parking lot on Thursdays. A few days ago we had class, and my arrival was perfectly timed to where we got to the parking garage at the same time. He was waiting for the elevator and I walked up just in time. We talked to each other while walking to class (I'm usually not nervous when talking to him, but I was very nervous considering the interaction we had over instagram dm just a few weeks ago, and this is the first time we've seen each other in months). We both completely avoided the fact that I confessed to him on instagram and just talked about random things. What made the whole thing worse was that when we were saying bye to each other, he said "see you later"??

Now I actually fear that I might see him every Thursday. At this point I just don't want to see him!!! I wish I could go no contact somehow but I also don't want to avoid him on campus/unfollow him or block him on instagram because he is a very sweet guy and I don't want to be rude. I'm almost certain we will be arriving to that parking lot at the same time every week and I don't want the obsession of me trying to plan when I will get there to happen again. I just don't know what to do? Should I try to avoid him if I see him? If I don't avoid him, I think my limerence will become worse and I'll become obsessed with the possibility of running into him. But he is a really nice boy so it just feels icky to do that. HELP ME PLS!!

[Zsababy]

That sounds really tough. Could you just drop this class and take it next semester?

[L-F]

did not have enough reddit karma to post to r/limerence so I ended up here

What a ridiculous system if you ask me. Never use it so didn't know you need credits/points.

I'm going to echo Zsababy's thoughts and ask if you can alter your timetable? Limerence is difficult enough without bumping into LO when in the thick of being limerent and then pretending everything is normal.

[dramamine4tw]

That sounds really tough. Could you just drop this class and take it next semester?

I wish I could drop the class for this reason, but there are many other reasons for me to not drop the class. I am a senior in my 2nd to last semester, and I have to take this class to graduate, plus I have wanted to be in it since I was a freshman! Since I also really like the class so far, I am not planning on dropping it for now.

Honestly, the only thing that makes sense for me right now is to show up to campus for the class a bit earlier, since I know he always arrives right before class (he would do that last semester). Although it is a bit of a hassle to get there earlier, I can try it out this week. Maybe I'll report back here after Thursday.

[dramamine4tw]

did not have enough reddit karma to post to r/limerence so I ended up here

What a ridiculous system if you ask me. Never use it so didn't know you need credits/points.

I'm going to echo Zsababy's thoughts and ask if you can alter your timetable? Limerence is difficult enough without bumping into LO when in the thick of being limerent and then pretending everything is normal.

I already replied to Zsababy's comment, but I can give a summary here! I am not going to drop the class for a few reasons, but I do have a bit of a plan. I will try to arrive to campus earlier than he usually does, and hopefully I won't run into him while walking to the class. I really hope he does not decide to randomly show up early too.

[David]

When I got Limerence it was in the first week of a four year postgraduate diploma course. I had the choice to leave the course or continue and work at ultralow contact as no contact was impossible. It took a huge amount of willpower to avoid being in the same places and at times, I failed miserably.

On reflection, this just delayed me moving through my Limerence for four years and in hindsight I would’ve been better leaving the course and starting elsewhere. Anyhow, everything happens for a reason and maybe being around LO for four years was what I needed!

You can only decide what the course of action is best for you , but for sure no contact is something we recommend where possible and if that’s not possible then low contact is second best. Wish you well on your journey.

I’m also curious about having to have credits on Reddit to post what’s all that about?

[L-F]

When I got Limerence it was in the first week of a four year postgraduate diploma course. I had the choice to leave the course or continue and work at ultralow contact as no contact was impossible. It took a huge amount of willpower to avoid being in the same places and at times, I failed miserably.

Ditto. I failed miserably too.

I considered throwing away my study. I even suggested this to LO because I couldn't deal with the limerence. She completely avoided me and the situation. I don't blame her. Limerence was my issue to work thru.

[dramamine4tw]

You can only decide what the course of action is best for you , but for sure no contact is something we recommend where possible and if that’s not possible then low contact is second best. Wish you well on your journey.

I’m also curious about having to have credits on Reddit to post what’s all that about?

Thank you! I don't think I've experienced limerence this strongly before, so I'm just trying to learn more about it to hopefully help me. It might have to be low contact for now since it's inevitable that I will run into him on campus, but this forum is already helping me out a lot.

Also, the Reddit karma thing is pretty annoying. Basically you get credits, or "karma", every time you post anything on reddit. That includes posts and comments/replies. I just made a new account and deleted my previous one so my new account does not have any karma. The r/limerence subreddit requires a certain amount of karma to be able to post, so I quite literally cannot post anything on there. I really wish they would consider changing this, but it's okay because I found this forum!

[dramamine4tw]

When I got Limerence it was in the first week of a four year postgraduate diploma course. I had the choice to leave the course or continue and work at ultralow contact as no contact was impossible. It took a huge amount of willpower to avoid being in the same places and at times, I failed miserably.

She completely avoided me and the situation. I don't blame her. Limerence was my issue to work thru.

Yes, I completely agree. Limerence is something that we have to work through ourselves. I feel bad for my LO because I know so much about him from stalking him online which is creepy, I admit. I want to stay away from him not only for myself, but for him as well.

[Zsababy]

If you can go early, that sounds like the best solution. You probably already do this, but maybe set a phone alarm to remind yourself exactly when you need to leave so you don't find yourself making excuses to delay because subconsciously you want to run into him. I think we have to have a lot of safety overrides, or whatever they're called, to keep us on track. Just like how we have to block people to keep us from texting them.