Fired Therapist

[David]

That is a LOT of money. I'd tell her since the price hadn't been discussed or negotiated, to sue me

Thats what i was thinking

[Zsababy]

15k? Here I'm about to tell you what to do lol....I would consider not paying it & if they want to sue, tell them you just might countersue for emotional distress. Her "guidance" kinda fucked up your life. To have to pay that kind of $ for that terrible boundary-trampling advice is criminal. Seriously, maybe ask a lawyer? I dunno...

[JupiterTaco]

That's a good idea, talking to a lawyer. One might even give you a free consultation.

[Asha999]

So I sent a message yesterday challenging $12k for text messages. The bill was $3k for zoom sessions and video messaging. $12k for text messages. 80 hours of text messages in 4 months. 2 full time weeks of text messaging? Not humanly possible. The bill dates to September and dates 12.21 but never sent. I think she did not send it because she knew she screwed up because I was not in a good way at that time (right when I found limerence on my own and turned things around Wirth the understanding of what was happening). She sent the bill only when I fired her despite somewhat regular billing prior.

She responded that she would never lie to me and undercounted if anything. There was of course no prior discussion of billing for text… of course I would expect to pay her something but no agreement or rate was disclosed to discussed. Never mind coaching via text is pretty questionable. And that she is holding unbelievably sensitive information and knows I had to delete everything on my side.

I sent her an emails saying she had pretty questionable practices for billing and coaching and I’ll be short paying the invoice. Not sure from a legal perspective if I short pay part on the text component that I’m agreeing I owe something. I’m guessing that’s the case and should just pay the zoom. Despite the mess I’m actually a fairly intelligent person on said matters.

We have a lot of mutual friends so this is extra nasty.
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Getting a bill for $15,000 just set me back pretty wildly in getting anxiety under control.

It’s hard to comprehend how big of a mess I’ve made out of things. And that even two days ago I’m trying to explain limerence, how it emerged, what underlies it and this coach telling me that’s me being manipulative and fearful because I won’t do work or leave my husband and lifestyle.

[Zsababy]

That would give me anxiety, too.
Did she give you a bill in writing beforehand? Or an email or text? If she has nothing in writing prior to the services, I would think she doesn't have a leg to stand on in small claims court (so says Judge Judy lol). "Discussing" sounds unprovable. I'd ask her to resend the email or text where a definite amount was in writing. She might back off if she realizes she has no proof. Usually, payment is due upon service with much therapy I've had.

She can't just pull a random figure out her arse after the fact. Don't let her intimidate you. Anyone that marries their client is someone who abused their power. You could tell that to a lawyer, too, that she has no professional ethics even if her job doesn't require a license and doesn't have any regulation.

[Zsababy]

Not sure if you can complain to them, but there is an International Federation of Coaching. Maybe they could advise some recourse.

Also, does she have a website where her rates are listed? If she has nothing in writing with verifiable dates, I doubt she can actually do anything unless she has a recording of the phone call.

She is also committing emotional abuse, which you might be able to sue for.

One time I had an employer threaten to sue me for walking off the job (hourly ushering job). I sent them a copy of labor law & not only were they wrong, under California law, they owed me vacation pay. They just shut up & forked over what they owed me. Point being, if they hadn't been stupid enough to threaten me, I never would've found out that they actually owed ME money.
Point also being that if she bluffs her way forward, it could really blow up in her face.

You could maybe write the Nolo website that has lawyers giving free advice. I got some on copyright law one time.

I say give her what she's got coming to her & I don't mean 15 grand, but some serious karma.

[L-F]

We have a lot of mutual friends so this is extra nasty.

Ouch!

It’s hard to comprehend how big of a mess I’ve made out of things. And that even two days ago I’m trying to explain limerence, how it emerged, what underlies it and this coach telling me that’s me being manipulative and fearful because I won’t do work or leave my husband and lifestyle.

You could ask what theoretical underpinnings support her observation?
Urgh... A strange lady indeed. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but can't help think of a child spitting the dummy. I would tell her that it's not manipulation, it's called waking up to her nonsensical approach and unethical practices. Sorry you are having to deal with this on top of limerence.

[Zsababy]

One more thing, save your texts & emails. I'm no lawyer, but maybe there's a case there.

[Zsababy]

D'oh. Sorry I missed the part about deleting the texts. I skimmed; I was so caught up in hating this woman!

[Zsababy]

Its b. So my therapist life coach dresses me down for letting fear guide my life choices, that I will never know love until i risk something, that i can never be certain about people and am a manipulator who only has relationships when I am controlling of other people.

For my part I have these issues because of a genuine lack of unconditional love as a child or adult. to be told that I am unwilling to take risks to find it or manipulative at this juncture...like it seems cruel and unusual.

For a coach/therapist who has hooked up or partnered with a client to talk about controlling people in relationships is some serious horseshit. She's projecting. (If I read all this correctly; I'm bad about skimming).

I understand choosing relationships that are secure because of having a rocky emotional past; that's not manipulative, that's choosing wisely, IMHO.