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Is medication good for limerence?

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olv
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2023 5:28 pm
Great Britain

Is medication good for limerence?

Post by olv »

I’ve been thinking about the same person everyday for the past 3 years. We barely talk, when we do it consists of messaging eachother every few weeks, I thought we potentially had something going especially after our most recent conversation when we were talking everyday or so which lasted a few days, but after my last messages she hasnt responded for 2 weeks, and although this is sometimes normal for her, this time it seemed uncalled for since i thought it was going really well and we were getting closer, now im scared that I’ve said something that she’s taken badly and doesnt like me at all. She’s ghosted me twice throughout the years, the first time her coming back to me and the second i got in touch with her after 4 months of going no contact. She says that I’m her soulmate, and i know we have a really good connection, which I dont have with anyone else, so when i talk to new people often time i feel disappointed.
I dont feel happy, I’ve gone to the doctor about low moods , but i haven’t mentioned limerence at all and dont plan on, instead I just explained how I’m feeling most of the time. He’s hesitant to put me on medication because of my age but said if other methods aren’t working I can, ive been having CBT therapy and working through past experiences and I brought up this limerence to my therapist but I still don’t feel myself getting that much better. Every time i stop talking to my LO for over a week and a half or so my mood drops more than it’s already but now I genuinely feel like she wont talk to me again since it’s going from everyday for a few days to over 2 weeks. I hold onto her as a source of happiness, but it’s so draining waiting all the time, im trying to engrave in my mind that it’s the perfect opportunity to get out of limerence. I’m just wondering if anyone thinks medication would be useful in helping me or have any other recommendations. Many Thanks
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by Zsababy »

This is a tough one. I increased my anti-depressant/ antipsychotic Latuda & it helped a lot for the irrational thoughts, but I'm bipolar so it's a bit different. You might want to try journaling, hobbies & walks in nature as therapy before going the med route because:
A) you will be covering over the root of the issue & it will probably continue
B) Meds can have strong side effects & it can take literally years sometimes to find the right one. Not always, but it's rarely right the first time.

I would keep going to therapy. There is no quick fix, unfortunately. How long have you been in therapy & are you discussing past relationships and relationships with your parents. It's about bonding styles that are imprinted when were young.
olv
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2023 5:28 pm
Great Britain

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by olv »

Thanks for your response. I’m glad they have helped you. I do find myself going in a constant cycle of thinking rationally to thinking irrationally about the same thought, just with different emotion attached. I have done some journaling, but I also find it hard to put words on how I feel and my emotions tend to sometimes fluctuate from feeling completely hopeless, to feeling better which could be within a half an hour span, which I presume could just be anxiety. I’m also trying to do hobbies more often like the guitar, and the fact I feel guilty when I dont do it helps a bit. I’m also trying to go out on more walks with my dog and listening to upbeat music, not really any improvement yet.
Your points make sense, unfortunately I dont think I’m in the right headspace to move on in an optimistic manner and thats partly due to the limerence and how i attach my self worth to my LO. I’m trying to see significance in the roots my therapist and I have spoken about so far but when I leave the room it feels back to square 1, like it doesnt matter.
And I’m very unsure about medication as I don’t want to become dependent on it or come across any bad side effects, my therapist said she thinks I would benefit from it, which is why I went to the doctor in the first place, and I just want my general mood to improve.
I’ve been having therapy for around 6 months now, I started with a psychodynamic therapist, but didnt get far in the sessions, and thats not just because it’s a long winded type of therapy. I then moved over to CBT and have been doing that with the school for about 3 months, and I have a good connection with the therapist . But I’m finishing school for good in a few months so I’ll have to try to find another one unfortunately.
Yes we have looked into my relationship with my parents. But I will definitely bring up attachment styles and ask what she thinks I could be. Thank you for your help
David
Site Admin
Posts: 3859
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:22 pm
Location: London UK
Gender:
Age: 64
Great Britain

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by David »

ive heard of varying degrees of success with mostly poor results. I tried antidepressants and they made me feel like shit so i stopped them. YMMV
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Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by Zsababy »

olv wrote: Sun Mar 19, 2023 8:26 pm
And I’m very unsure about medication as I don’t want to become dependent on it or come across any bad side effects, my therapist said she thinks I would benefit from it, which is why I went to the doctor in the first place, and I just want my general mood to improve.
I’ve been having therapy for around 6 months now, I started with a psychodynamic therapist, but didnt get far in the sessions, and thats not just because it’s a long winded type of therapy. I then moved over to CBT and have been doing that with the school for about 3 months, and I have a good connection with the therapist . But I’m finishing school for good in a few months so I’ll have to try to find another one unfortunately.
Yes we have looked into my relationship with my parents. But I will definitely bring up attachment styles and ask what she thinks I could be. Thank you for your help
You could also try going on meds temporarily. If you don't have a true, chemically-based mental illness, I wouldn't go on them for life. I'm not a psychiatrist, but here are a few points: Effexor is hell to withdraw from & it gave me violent urges. Benzos like Klonopin, Ativan & Xanax are very addicting, you develop a tolerance & are also hell to withdraw from. For anxiety,. Buspar has been a life-changer. It's not addictive, & the only side effect I've gotten is dizziness at high doses because it lowers your blood pressure. For irrational thoughts & depression, you might want to ask them about a combination mood stabilizer & antidepressant like Lamictal. It has a rare but potentially deadly side effect called Johnson-Stevenson syndrome, which is indicated by a rash, but they usually gradually introduce it & you watch for a rash. I've never heard of anybody in my bipolar groups getting it. The bonus of Lamictal is that it can make you lose weight.

I would recommend researching the med on Drugs.com & WebMD before taking, then when you do, make sure to read the accompanying literature. I didn't and didn't realize that trazadone can cause a heart reaction. I ended up in the ER on nitroglycerin. I didn't have a heart attack but my heart rate was going crazy & they sent me an ambulance.

Meds can be great but they're not without risks. I'd stay away from anything in the anti-psychotic territory, like Latuda or Seroquel. The thing is that they often don't describe some meds as antipsychotics because that sounds too scary. Latuda is technically an antipsychotic with antidepressant effects, so they may refer to it as an antipsychotic. Seroquel also dopes you up pretty heavily. It made me sleep 12 hours & sometimes drool (seriously)

Also, some doctors won't tell you possible side effects and/or they don't know them all (it's way too much info as there are a zillion possible side effects). Just discuss it with them & do a bit of research. You don't sound like you're in an acute state of anything yet, so no need to rush.

Also, make sure it's a legit psychiatrist prescribing them and not a general practitioner MD. The latter don't always know what they're doing.

I've taken many meds, so feel free to ask me about them.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by Zsababy »

I meant they may refer to Latuda as an antidepressant
StillLimerent
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 7:52 am
United States of America

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by StillLimerent »

I've been on medications for sometime and then was going off them. About 6 months on and 6 months off. I didn't have much side effects from Wellbutrin and it worked well for me. Meds that have longer half-life are usually the easiest to stop taking. The downside is that it may take 4-6 weeks for the meds to start working, and the first weeks it may feel worse until it starts feeling better. It's a trial and failure journey.

However, meds don't work for me if I don't exercise regularly. I am exercising 6-7 times a week and it really changes my moods and my brain chemistry to the better. My brain is very responsive to the combination of meds + exercise. And when I'm off meds, I tend to exercise a lot.

But everyone is different, so just sharing my own experience. I always tell the doctor that I don't want to take meds for a long time, so I need something that I can stop taking relatively easy.
JupiterTaco
Posts: 5664
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by JupiterTaco »

I was on anti-depressants for awhile. They helped take the uumph out of my emotions surrounding limerence if I remember correctly, but it didn't fix the loophole in my brain. Definitely a good start if you can find one that works for you (my mother was already the guineapig in that regard as she had a heck of a time finding medicines that would work for anxiety/depression with her particular emotional makeup, and that helped me).
"Men are fooled so easily. Women wrelike spiders. They'll pull you into their webs and...wrap you up so tight you can hardly breathe," Griselda Blanco, Cocaine Godmother
olv
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2023 5:28 pm
Great Britain

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by olv »

Zsababy wrote: Tue Mar 21, 2023 8:00 pm
olv wrote: Sun Mar 19, 2023 8:26 pm
And I’m very unsure about medication as I don’t want to become dependent on it or come across any bad side effects, my therapist said she thinks I would benefit from it, which is why I went to the doctor in the first place, and I just want my general mood to improve.
I’ve been having therapy for around 6 months now, I started with a psychodynamic therapist, but didnt get far in the sessions, and thats not just because it’s a long winded type of therapy. I then moved over to CBT and have been doing that with the school for about 3 months, and I have a good connection with the therapist . But I’m finishing school for good in a few months so I’ll have to try to find another one unfortunately.
Yes we have looked into my relationship with my parents. But I will definitely bring up attachment styles and ask what she thinks I could be. Thank you for your help
You could also try going on meds temporarily. If you don't have a true, chemically-based mental illness, I wouldn't go on them for life. I'm not a psychiatrist, but here are a few points: Effexor is hell to withdraw from & it gave me violent urges. Benzos like Klonopin, Ativan & Xanax are very addicting, you develop a tolerance & are also hell to withdraw from. For anxiety,. Buspar has been a life-changer. It's not addictive, & the only side effect I've gotten is dizziness at high doses because it lowers your blood pressure. For irrational thoughts & depression, you might want to ask them about a combination mood stabilizer & antidepressant like Lamictal. It has a rare but potentially deadly side effect called Johnson-Stevenson syndrome, which is indicated by a rash, but they usually gradually introduce it & you watch for a rash. I've never heard of anybody in my bipolar groups getting it. The bonus of Lamictal is that it can make you lose weight.

I would recommend researching the med on Drugs.com & WebMD before taking, then when you do, make sure to read the accompanying literature. I didn't and didn't realize that trazadone can cause a heart reaction. I ended up in the ER on nitroglycerin. I didn't have a heart attack but my heart rate was going crazy & they sent me an ambulance.

Meds can be great but they're not without risks. I'd stay away from anything in the anti-psychotic territory, like Latuda or Seroquel. The thing is that they often don't describe some meds as antipsychotics because that sounds too scary. Latuda is technically an antipsychotic with antidepressant effects, so they may refer to it as an antipsychotic. Seroquel also dopes you up pretty heavily. It made me sleep 12 hours & sometimes drool (seriously)

Also, some doctors won't tell you possible side effects and/or they don't know them all (it's way too much info as there are a zillion possible side effects). Just discuss it with them & do a bit of research. You don't sound like you're in an acute state of anything yet, so no need to rush.

Also, make sure it's a legit psychiatrist prescribing them and not a general practitioner MD. The latter don't always know what they're doing.

I've taken many meds, so feel free to ask me about them.
Thank you. Yes I would definitely would want to avoid any highly addictive drugs. And I’m sure i’d be put on something light to see how I go with that. But nevertheless I’d definitely say I’m scared of the serious potential side effects of SSRI medication, and the fact it’s altering operations especially in the brain.
And thanks for the names of the websites, I’ll check them out.
I respect your courage to continue trying different medication even when facing some serious side effects, it must have been tiring trying to find the medication that works for you.
I cant say I’d be able to afford to go to a Psychiatrist, but my doctor is the head of the practice and seems knowledgeable in mental health, although I know his knowledge in this area would not at all compare to that of a Psychiatrist, I still have a good bit of faith in him.
I’ll make sure to go through it with him and express my concerns of side effects to find the best foot forward. I’d definitely want to initially avoid the one’s you have mentioned because of your experiences. Buspar however sounds good, but is this only temporary relief for anxiety? If so i may just focus on killing two birds with one stone and look for something that targets both anxiety and depression, but even so i’ll keep it in mind thank you.
Zsababy
Posts: 543
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:15 am
United States of America

Re: Is medication good for limerence?

Post by Zsababy »

No, Buspar is a continuous-acting anti- anxiety med. The benzos like Ativan, Xanax & Klonopin wear off in several hours.
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