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Attachment Styles
Attachment Styles
So I took this online quiz... (I know, I know lol) and it said I had a Secure Attachment style. I thought for sure I'd have something like anxious or whatever. (I think years ago, I would have).
So if I have a secure attachment style, why do I obsess on unavailable people? It did say I have a tendency toward unfulfilling relationships; I do play it safe as passion (or whatever intensity I feel) always steers me into hurt. Perhaps it's all about meeting unmet needs. I don't know how to solve it; I can't change who my partner is & 13 years has been stabilizing for me.
Do any of you guys know what attachment style you have? Does it ring true for you?
So if I have a secure attachment style, why do I obsess on unavailable people? It did say I have a tendency toward unfulfilling relationships; I do play it safe as passion (or whatever intensity I feel) always steers me into hurt. Perhaps it's all about meeting unmet needs. I don't know how to solve it; I can't change who my partner is & 13 years has been stabilizing for me.
Do any of you guys know what attachment style you have? Does it ring true for you?
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Re: Attachment Styles
Just did both and am anxious on the two tests I took and the description sounds so much like me. I wonder if with therapy and working on ourselves if these can change? Or do the styles change depending on what’s happening in our lives? Very interesting.
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Re: Attachment Styles
I'm pretty sure they can change. Avoidant here.
The only thing worse than a smug married couple? "Lots of smug married couples!" Bridget, Bridget Jones's Diary
Re: Attachment Styles
Fluid avoidant here. Depends on who im trying to avoid
Didn't see any links, which test is this?
Didn't see any links, which test is this?
"And in the end, we were all just humans…Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Re: Attachment Styles
I'm almost positive they can change. If you knew me in my 20s, I was avoidant & had no trust in men. If you knew me in my 30s, I was clingy, paranoid & jealous, definitely anxious. Of course with me, some of it is meds but sometimes I think it's having positive experience that restores your faith in others.Pattihopeful wrote: ↑Thu Mar 30, 2023 3:20 am Just did both and am anxious on the two tests I took and the description sounds so much like me. I wonder if with therapy and working on ourselves if these can change? Or do the styles change depending on what’s happening in our lives? Very interesting.
Re: Attachment Styles
Here is one quiz:
https://attachment.personaldevelopments ... pQEALw_wcB
Interestingly, this one said I'm fearful avoidant. I think that's how I am outside of this relationship, underneath it all but that my current relationship makes me feel secure
https://attachment.personaldevelopments ... pQEALw_wcB
Interestingly, this one said I'm fearful avoidant. I think that's how I am outside of this relationship, underneath it all but that my current relationship makes me feel secure
Re: Attachment Styles
There's this one:
https://www.attachmentproject.com/
This one said I'm secure, too. That's 3 out 4 secure.
https://www.attachmentproject.com/
This one said I'm secure, too. That's 3 out 4 secure.
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Re: Attachment Styles
Mine said I am "anxious preoccupied - you may abandon yourself to avoid being left by others". It goes on to say that for me, relationships can bring up fears around abandonment and ending up alone. Rather than focusing on whether others meet my needs, I tend to people please to avoid being left behind. Also mentioned that I am probably highly empathic and can form deep connections with others. But sometime my need for closeness and insecurities can cause me to give too much and feel like I'm not enough. Or causes my worst fears to come true and push people away, sending me into panic.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Re: Attachment Styles
Which test was this- do you have a link? This sounds more thorough.HelpWithGOLO wrote: ↑Thu Mar 30, 2023 1:21 pm Mine said I am "anxious preoccupied - you may abandon yourself to avoid being left by others". It goes on to say that for me, relationships can bring up fears around abandonment and ending up alone. Rather than focusing on whether others meet my needs, I tend to people please to avoid being left behind. Also mentioned that I am probably highly empathic and can form deep connections with others. But sometime my need for closeness and insecurities can cause me to give too much and feel like I'm not enough. Or causes my worst fears to come true and push people away, sending me into panic.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
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