I've been on the receiving end and it ain't pretty

[Yesnomaybeso]

The whole you attract what you are thing is kinda true. A few years ago I went of a few dates with this women. She seemed really nice but on the second date she opened up to me about something bad that happened to her years ago and whilst I'm a very understanding person it made me feel uncomfortable. We decided to remain friends. Quite quickly she started calling me and messaging me throughout the day. We barely knew each other and now looking back I can see she had limerence for me. There was a total obsession. It made me feel absolutely suffocated and like I was in a vortex unable to get out. She expected so much from me. So much emotional support. Wanted me to basically be her therapist. She projected on to me what she thought I was. Didn't even really try to get to know who I was. Just wanted to use me to get her needs met (man that is basically what I did to other people unfortunately). We slowly drifted as friends. She found another obsession. I decided to be honest about this one sided friendship and whilst she actually understood she eventually unfriended me. Made me realise.. she never wanted to know the real me.. she just wanted me to be someone that would listen to her.. like a cardboard cut out. It's crazy though. Being on the other side is a strange feeling. Even I can see that once the person obsessed with you stops a small part of you misses being wanted.

[L-F]

I can relate.

[JupiterTaco]

So true!

[David]

a sobering post and one so important for us with limerence to understand how the LO may be feeling

[Zsababy]

I can relate as I have had many "therapy" friendships and have been trying to end my codependent tendencies as I just attract these people's tendencies like magnets. I totally get the wanting more than you can give. I've been on both sides of that.