Another way to view disclosure

[L-F]

Many want to disclose to their LO (there's a theory behind why LS typically want to disclose), but this thread is about a potential way to view disclosing one is limerent.

Essentially what you are disclosing is that you have a mental illness. That's all. Because behind limerence there is an illness. A simple crush may be okay to disclose and even be seen as flattering. But not limerence. It's an all-out unhealthy obsession and has nothing to do with catching the feels for someone.

Even if you don't see it that way, they could. So unless you want to look like someone on the stalker level, do not disclose, unless they are your therapist and you can work through it together.

[David]

Great post. I describe limerence as a form of psychosis. Why its not in the DSM baffles me.

[JupiterTaco]

Great post. I describe limerence as a form of psychosis. Why its not in the DSM baffles me.

Maybe it's a shadow for so many people that they don't want to own or admit to...

[L-F]

Maybe it's a shadow for so many people that they don't want to own or admit to...

100%

I find avoidance fascinating. When we face our pain (shame, guilt, shadows, etc.), we can move past it. Kinda shine the light in type thing. But I hear you, some do not want to because owning that darkness is traumatizing in itself. Takes a lot of courage and support. Good support. The therapist kind.

Makes me think of shipwreck survivors aimlessly floating out at sea. Ever wonder why some survive while others give in? I believe it's a strong mind. Someone who can counsel themselves when facing the hopelessness associated with their predicament.

[David]

The trouble is that when we are in the mania of Limerence, it’s very hard for us to see that what we are doing is projecting our unmet needs onto our LOs.

I didn’t listen to people that told me not to disclose, and it’s only through much work and deeper reflection that I now realise that it didn’t alleviate tmy situation and it just dumped a load of my historical trauma onto my LO who had more than her fair share of stuff to already deal with.

I don’t feel great about that. Also realised in the night that a big part of my Limerence was feeling very lonely , and I know that this was something my LO grappled with as well. I think loneliness is something that every human being struggles with at times.

[David]

Maybe people are just not ready yet to come out of the shadows about the Limerence. That seems odd though, because other additions seem willing to talk about. Maybe there is something taboo about being addicted to a person? Yet it’s something most of us can relate to

[L-F]

The trouble is that when we are in the mania of Limerence, it’s very hard for us to see that what we are doing is projecting our unmet needs onto our LOs.

So true!

I didn’t listen to people that told me not to disclose, and it’s only through much work and deeper reflection that I now realise that it didn’t alleviate tmy situation and it just dumped a load of my historical trauma onto my LO who had more than her fair share of stuff to already deal with.

How much of that was due to the limited dialogue and information about limerence though? I know when in the thick of it 12 years ago there really wasn't much about it. Now it's everywhere. A lot has changed in that time.

I mean, one can easily find out what LE is and talk with others who have transitioned out of that mindset. I hear you though, it's a scary thing when it hits and one thinks they have lost the plot.

So maybe it's taboo to talk about one feeling insane? I'd say most LS know what they are feeling and thinking is beyond normal.

[Hexatonic]

I describe limerence as a form of psychosis. Why its not in the DSM baffles me.

What baffles me is why a lot of psychiatrists, therapists, etc. do not know the term "limerence". I suspect it has to do with corporate interests (e.g. Disney, Hallmark) standing to lose billions if "falling in love" is discovered to be merely a psychosis-induced chemical imbalance. Especially in today's world, people need mystery because everything is becoming depersonalized, automated, and sterile.

Even I -- who benefitted greatly from discovering that limerence was an actual thing (as opposed to just me thinking I was overly sensitive to romantic feelings), in terms of being able to both "talk myself down" from much of the outlandish fantasy-thinking with regard to my LO, and understanding that I was idealizing her -- feel this loss of mystery, as what then is this feeling of falling in love other than some kind of lie out brains are concocting.

I have also had the thought that the biochemical component of the LE is somewhat akin (excepting the violence part) to the must that young male elephants experience.

[L-F]

What baffles me is why a lot of psychiatrists, therapists, etc. do not know the term "limerence".

That's easy to answer. If you look back in time you'll see people have been suffering from all kinds of ailments before doctors discovered them. The only difference nowadays is the internet and people sharing their experiences. Plus doctors haven't yet got the "research evidence" to back anything up. This highlights how 'the people' are way ahead of textbooks thanks to technology.

What baffles me is why surgical/clinical doctors spend so much time studying and very little of it on nutrition. Backwards if you ask me. You'd think focussing on prevention is better than focussing on the cure

[David]

What baffles me is why surgical/clinical doctors spend so much time studying and very little of it on nutrition. Backwards if you ask me. You'd think focussing on prevention is better than focussing on the cure

Maybe doctors and big pharma dont want a healthier population? Call me a cynic I see even Dr. Berg who promotes a keto diet has been shadow banned on youtube. As am ex medic I see the benefits of a low carb diet so what gives?