Back to Limerence after healing period

[Daydreaming]

I was in a situation of limerence for many years during my time at university. It was approximately 6 very complicated and painful years, living with intrusive thoughts every day and looking for any sign of reciprocity from LO that I basically only interacted with through likes on Facebook, until we finally met unexpectedly in person.
After a few more years of NC, one fine day I simply realized that I was no longer in a state of limerence, and I was finally able to have a moment to breathe and focus on my professional career after university.

Last year there were some changes at work, and I was reassigned to another department, where I had the opportunity to meet very good people who welcomed me socially in a very positive way.
As soon as I started my new role, a co-worker quickly caught my attention, but I always noticed that there was a barrier between us, as if she purposely avoided getting closer to me. It affected me a little sometimes, but nothing significant. In the rare moments that we had a deeper interaction, I realized that it affected me in a way beyond normal, and then I found myself rethinking every detail of that moment.

This year I was reassigned again and needed to participate in projects that depended on me maintaining closer contact with this co-worker, because she was directly involved in the projects.
Over the months, we began to have increasingly close contact at work, and on several occasions we were sharing a lot of time together at work. On several occasions we left work to have lunch together, and these invitations always came from her.
Sometimes she would bring me coffee on the table, and I would return the kindness whenever possible. In these moments of greater closeness, I always felt very euphoric and overwhelmed by a feeling of happiness. At the end of the day, I found myself fantasizing about her and remembering every detail. I was also overcome by great anxiety about seeing her again the next day, at the same time as I felt a lot of insecurity that things wouldn't go as expected and I was dominated by a feeling of anguish and despair.
To try to maintain our closeness and achieve the need for acceptance, I always offered to help her with any work activities I had any connection with, and I exerted considerable effort to ensure that things were done in the best way possible.

I think that at this stage I was still entering an initial phase of limerence, because although it affected me a lot, it was not yet something that impacted me with great intensity in the long term. Whenever we moved away from one project to another, I was able to focus on other things.
The big problem is that in the last few weeks we have had to work together again, and this time the feelings caused in me by her have become very intense, to the point that I can't think about other things and causing a significant drop in my productivity at work.

Last week we were also at a birthday party together, where we both consumed alcohol, and on that occasion we were close most of the time, interacting and even sharing the same food together. That day, after arriving home, I felt on cloud nine, as if I had finally managed to find what I had always been looking for.
But the next day, when we met again at work, I was overcome with a feeling of sadness, seeing her interacting with other people and treating others in a way closer to how she normally treats me. That day we had lunch together with another colleague and we interacted several times, she made positive comments about my importance in her work, but I still felt as if I was being left aside.

Now I'm here again, covered in the fog of limerence, not knowing what to do and desperate for having to go through this suffering again. Tomorrow we'll meet again at work, and I can't stop thinking that my day will be excellent or disastrous depending on my interaction with her.
I spent the entire weekend thinking about all the events that happened over the past week. I intend to reveal my condition of limerence to my psychologist tomorrow for the first time, we are in the third session since I started therapy, and I have even prepared a folder explaining that it is Limerence so that she can better understand my situation.

[fup]

I think it’s a good thing that you are this aware of it this early in your LE. Hopefully you’ll be able to regulate your emotions a better when you’re anticipating that your interaction with LO will affect your mood and mental state. For me it has been helpful to practice interacting with LO in a normal way always asking my self how the interaction will look if I was not in limerence.
Telling your therapist sounds like the way to go. I try to think about it as if each LO has been there for a reason to teach me something new about myself and help me grow. Keeping this focus is important though I completely understand why you are dreading that this will be as painful as last time. It might be, no one can tell. But hopefully you’ll learn and heal from it.

[Daydreaming]

Today was another day shrouded in LE fog. Despite working most of the day a few feet away from LO, she didn't even greet me personally, just texted me at the end of the day to ask a question about work.

After work I went to my therapy session, and after reporting all the events of the last week involving LO, I revealed my LE condition. Unfortunately it was a big bucket of cold water, when my psychologist doesn't seem to have given much importance to it.
She's obviously never heard of LE, and has often come across as taking it for granted, as if I'm trying to convince her of some random theory found on the internet with no foundation.

Rather than trying to help me overcome LE, the psychologist seems to be believing that my feelings are real, not fanciful, and that I am in a normal state of being in love.

Tomorrow will be another very difficult day at work, having to deal with intrusive thoughts of LO, anxious for her presence, and still not being able to concentrate on work activities. I don't know if I'm going to keep putting up with this for long. I'm tired, feeling lonely, and completely lost.

[L-F]

Rather than trying to help me overcome LE, the psychologist seems to be believing that my feelings are real, not fanciful, and that I am in a normal state of being in love.

Interesting DD

I don't know if I'm going to keep putting up with this for long. I'm tired, feeling lonely, and completely lost.

What do you mean by this DD? Can you elaborate?

As for there not being a foundation to the LE theory, you could say it was founded by Dorothy Tennov. Could you ask if she has heard of Dorothy's work? As for how to overcome limerence, it will depend upon what line of work they are in, but I'm assuming all psychologists should understand how to treat/support addictions. Could you ask your therapist if she has had any experience in supporting clients with intrusive thoughts or addictions? Could you direct her here for some light reading?

I'm not a fan of psychologists because they lump people into the majority category (which excludes the minority). This means if someone sits on the fringes or outside of the boxed theory on human behavior, then they don't count. But all human behavior counts imo, on a spectrum of some sort.

[Daydreaming]

Rather than trying to help me overcome LE, the psychologist seems to be believing that my feelings are real, not fanciful, and that I am in a normal state of being in love.

Interesting DD

I don't know if I'm going to keep putting up with this for long. I'm tired, feeling lonely, and completely lost.

What do you mean by this DD? Can you elaborate?

As for there not being a foundation to the LE theory, you could say it was founded by Dorothy Tennov. Could you ask if she has heard of Dorothy's work? As for how to overcome limerence, it will depend upon what line of work they are in, but I'm assuming all psychologists should understand how to treat/support addictions. Could you ask your therapist if she has had any experience in supporting clients with intrusive thoughts or addictions? Could you direct her here for some light reading?

I'm not a fan of psychologists because they lump people into the majority category (which excludes the minority). This means if someone sits on the fringes or outside of the boxed theory on human behavior, then they don't count. But all human behavior counts imo, on a spectrum of some sort.

After narrating all my feelings about LE and how it affected me, I introduced the basic concept of LE and shared with my psychologist an introductory guide to LE aimed at professionals that I found on a website. My psychologist hasn't shown much interest, but I'm curious if she'll make any specific comments about LE in the next few sessions after studying the subject further (I don't know if she'll actually do that). I didn't have the opportunity to talk more about LE, but I tried to explain in a technical way various symptoms and characteristics, including the reward mechanism, intrusive thoughts, fantasies, mood instability depending on the signs of reciprocity or rejection of LO....
My psychologist specializes in treating drug addictions, so I took the opportunity to mention in the last session that LE has a very similar effect to that of a drug.

Anyway, after I mentioned LE, she told me that trying to diagnose what I feel wasn't that relevant, because it wouldn't make a difference in my condition. She doesn't seem to be interested in labeling what I'm feeling, and several times commented that I was forbidding myself to feel things, even though I pointed out that it wasn't healthy what I felt.

[L-F]

Anyway, after I mentioned LE, she told me that trying to diagnose what I felt wasn't that relevant, because it wouldn't make a difference in my condition. She doesn't seem to be interested in labeling what I'm feeling, and several times commented that I was forbidding myself to feel things, even though I pointed out that it wasn't healthy what I felt.

And she'd be right. It's called intellectualization. A defense mechanism to move us from feeling to thinking.
Perhaps ignore what you know or think it is, to just feel it and discuss these feelings with her. My LO asked me why I couldn't allow myself to, just feel, instead of studying what made me feel this way.