Today my LO announced that she is pregnant

[Daydreaming]

For a moment my world fell apart. We had been out of contact for a few weeks due to my attempts to push away the feelings of Limerence, when I received this news from a colleague who LO revealed that she was pregnant from husband's.

It was a complete shock, despite it being something predictable that would happen sooner or later.

[marko]

Just ran into mine at a beach with her BF. When reality pops in about their real worlds it should send a clear signal to our brains. Trying to be something in their world becomes sad, and yet we try and figure out how to be in both worlds. The LE mind needs to protect at all costs. I suppose the one we cling to that we think will heal us, breaks our hearts when those things remind us how little we are to them. She was having fun, and being a bit romantic with this guy right in front of me. I lost my mind again over her and there is the reality--hurts.

[Daydreaming]

Just ran into mine at a beach with her BF. When reality pops in about their real worlds it should send a clear signal to our brains. Trying to be something in their world becomes sad, and yet we try and figure out how to be in both worlds. The LE mind needs to protect at all costs. I suppose the one we cling to that we think will heal us, breaks our hearts when those things remind us how little we are to them. She was having fun, and being a bit romantic with this guy right in front of me. I lost my mind again over her and there is the reality--hurts.

It's so painful to know that something that brought you to absolute ecstasy can never become real.

Right now I'm drinking an entire bottle of wine to try to cope with the pain, but it seems like nothing is enough to stifle this feeling. LO just sent me a message to thank me for my congratulations on her pregnancy.

I feel that my existence is totally incompatible with life and the world. I wish I could simply cease to exist, it would be so easy. I can't even imagine what it will be like to be in LO's presence for the next few months watching her carry a child and build a family that I will not be a part of.

[JupiterTaco]

I feel like you've got to face the feelings head on and deal with them drinking won't escape them you know. The more you can feel exactly what you're feeling the sooner maybe you'll be able to see how to deal with it maybe where it comes from

[sufferingsoul53]

Hi there, I’m having the same issue with a work colleague who I’ve got extreme limerence for. Told me she was pregnant when we were getting closer… so so painful

[Daydreaming]

Hi there, I’m having the same issue with a work colleague who I’ve got extreme limerence for. Told me she was pregnant when we were getting closer… so so painful

As in my case, I believe that it will be very difficult months witnessing LO live the pregnancy, then the absence of maternity leave and finally the return as a mother.

Interactions with LO are being more intense and difficult than ever, both for the peak of happiness and the peak of sadness. When LO approaches me, I feel like I'm being inserted into one of the most important moments of your life, but when it moves away, I feel like I'm being completely left out of your life because I have no relevance.

But perhaps this is the ideal breaking point for us to seek an exit from Limerence.

[L-F]

But perhaps this is the ideal breaking point for us to seek an exit from Limerence.

Limerence is not about LO. Until you're ready to see this, you'll not move on from it. You'll only continue to suppress it.

I feel like you've got to face the feelings head on and deal with them drinking won't escape them you know. The more you can feel exactly what you're feeling the sooner maybe you'll be able to see how to deal with it maybe where it comes from

This

[JupiterTaco]

To both of you just real quick I'm going to reiterate I've probably said it before on here that real connections are just real connections. They don't leave you wanting more they don't leave you with an urge to go wreck somebody else's relationship or wish that it was you instead of them yada yada. I think that's how you can tell the difference as a good guideline. If you had a true connection with somebody you would just feel it you wouldn't be mad about their kid or their husband or wife or whatever. You feel the connection and it would be enough for you.

[L-F]

If you had a true connection with somebody you would just feel it you wouldn't be mad about their kid or their husband or wife or whatever. You feel the connection and it would be enough for you.

I think EGO gets in the way. You're right, you would FEEL the love and be okay with that love, and be happy for them. I believe it's when the ego gets involved that jealousy, ownership, etc steps in, as well as triggered childhood wounds. Heal wounds, work on ego and one will step into their authenticity, or something like that. Idk. Too many theories out there.

I don't know about anyone else but looking into limerence objectively took the sting of the emotions out of it for me. Think of it as a condition to treat... perhaps?

[JupiterTaco]

If you had a true connection with somebody you would just feel it you wouldn't be mad about their kid or their husband or wife or whatever. You feel the connection and it would be enough for you.

I think EGO gets in the way. You're right, you would FEEL the love and be okay with that love, and be happy for them. I believe it's when the ego gets involved that jealousy, ownership, etc steps in, as well as triggered childhood wounds. Heal wounds, work on ego and one will step into their authenticity, or something like that. Idk. Too many theories out there.

I don't know about anyone else but looking into limerence objectively took the sting of the emotions out of it for me. Think of it as a condition to treat... perhaps?

Yes looking objectively into what it is this dredges up and why is probably the answer.